[written at 4am]
Tonight I lay awake, as I have on many nights before. Unlike those nights, something special happened.
My mind was racing. It kept coming back to a meeting I had, where a woman was abusively talking about my work and I did not stand up for it. I replayed the meeting in my head, trying to learn from it and thinking of what I could have said. I was considering a confrontation.
I knew that these thoughts were keeping me awake, so I turned to prayer. I prayed to bring me closer to God, to get my mind off from work, and to ask for rest. During that prayer, I started wondering, “why don’t we have any recent signs or great miracles that could prove God’s existence?” I know that He speaks to us through the Bible, so I turned to it.
My Bible app prompted me with this verse of the day, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) To me, THAT was a message from God. He’s telling me not to look for signs and miracles, but to have faith in what is unseen.
This message brought joy to my heart, so I looked no further, but was still wide awake. I turned to a book I have been reading, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, to help me fall asleep. It referenced Proverbs 9 without much explanation, so I looked it up. Here is what I found:
Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. (Proverbs 9:7)
Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. (Proverbs 9:8)
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight. (Proverbs 9:10)
If you are wise, you are wise for yourself; if you scoff, you alone will bear it. (Proverbs 9:12)
This is further proof of God speaking to us through the Bible. I understood this as Him saying, “Levi, you had questions. Here are some answers. Don’t try to argue with that woman, she will only hate you for it. Come to me when you have questions or doubts. Don’t argue with her to show your knowledge of the subject. She doesn’t need to know.”
I feel blessed by these two messages,especially since they were so close to each other and because I felt that I needed a sign. I hope to never have that feeling again, but if I do, I know where to go.